Archive for Self-Talk

寫在三十五歲前

當講起自己幾多歲嘅時候,有時我會講自己三十五歲, 實際上我係三十四歲。未到生日,一日都可以 claim 自己三十四歲。但係日子一日一日今過,三十四同三十五歲嘅分别其實越來越小,直到一日 ,boom,喜歡與否已經係三十五歲。

如果我真係叮噹,我希望返去過去,再為選擇作決定。當然,呢個只係一個FF 。Viktor Frankl 係 Man’s Search for Meaning 一書面今講 “Live as if you were living for the second time and had acted as wrongly the first time a you are about to act now”。此時此刻作一個決定又點知啱定係唔啱。可能係因為我欠決一d 野而作出一個決定去 fill-up 一d 野,若果果d 野出現返,又或者不再需要,又或者成就唔到,呢個決定就好似無乜價值,當初嘅決定就好似係錯嘅今。

人越大本錢就越來越小,健康、精神、記憶力、學習能力都係,就越輸唔起。係無時光機嘅今日應該以乜野準則作決定呢?歐文亞隆係生命的禮物一書提出”決定是進入豐富的存在領域的捷徑,這個領域包括了自由、責任、選擇、懊悔、願望和意志… 接受膚淺而過早提出的勸告, 等於讓他們放棄探索存在領域的機會。”

好一個探索存在領域的機會。我treasure d 乜呢?

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Limit & Guidance

But a lot of ways has closed behind me, and that’s had the same guiding effect… there is as much guidance in what does not and cannot happen in my life as there is in what can and does – maybe more.”

“… I was raised in a subculture that insisted I could do anything I wanted to do, be anything I wanted to be, if I were willing to make the effort.”

“My troubles began, of course, when I started to slam into my limitations, especially in the form of failure”

“If you are like me and don’t readily admit your limits, embarrassment may be the only way to get your attention… finally, I may forced to face my nature and find out whether I can make something of both my gifts and my limitations.”

(Ch3 When Way Closes @ Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation – Parker J. Palmer)

Thinking of my way forward… I can’t accept not trying but pushing brutally also harms and result in failures. There are limits, accepting them requires self-acceptance.

Somehow, there may be chances to get through them sometime in the future. If that can be breaking through, I learn to see them as opportunities to growth. If that can’t, I learn to accept it as part of my imperfect self, learn to forget the way closed and to take ways still opens.

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Acceptance, Change & Courage

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer

 

Accept something that I can’t change and not take it too personal. Seek for courage to change for those I can and the wisdom to distinguish in between.

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