Book Report & Reflection: The Gift of Therapy – Irvin D. Yalom (1)

Gift-of-Therapy

Extracted from part of the first assignment I submitted when I was studying  Counselling Skills.

Highlights

I have read the first twelve chapters (excluding the Introduction) of “The Gift of Therapy” from Irvin D. Yalom up to this moment.

In the introduction chapter, Irvin objected the way Psychiatry was being driven to be – focus more on psychopharmacology and abandoning psychotherapy to make the theory more economical. Irvin pointed out the counter productiveness and the danger of self-fulling prophecy being brought to the less severely impaired patients if emphasis were put on a quick and precise vision-limiting diagnosis with a brief and focused therapy (Ch2).

He believed that human has an in-built force towards self-actualization and the patient will grow when obstacles were removed (Ch1) and gradual unfolding of the patient allows therapist to know the patient as fully as possible (Ch2).

Irvin seeks for a more humanly, interactive and equal way to treat his patients by admitting his errors (Ch9), letting the patient’s comment of towards his words matter to him (Ch7), being supportive (Ch5), care about the relationship between himself and his patients (Ch4) and avoid tin-can therapy and prefabricated technique (Ch10) to all clients. He is taking a more humanistic approach which takes time and is opposite to what he described the managed-care industry heading to.

Reflections

One of the good reminders I found is the diverse view of therapy hour between the client and the therapist in Chapter 6. Irvin, the therapist, thought that his client should found his interpretations of an event or thoughts described by his client most valuable. However, it turns out that his client didn’t notice his interpretation as if he hadn’t speak at all but words he doesn’t notice e.g. his apologies for being late, his compliments and his fun-making tease. It may be that these little acts make the relationship more like friendship and the support coming from this relationship is more authentic and genuine.

“I am human and let nothing human be alien to me” (Ch6) from Terence is being quoted by Erich Fromm when teaching Empathy. To expose ourselves to any kind fantasy of the patients allowed us to exercise accurate empathy. However, as every of us have our own pain and dark side that we aren’t fully aware of, this is why Irvin suggested student therapist should experience the therapeutic process (Ch12) to make those pain and dark side up in the conscious level so as to avoid displacement. Experiencing therapeutic process also allows therapists to experience as a client the things that will happen – project on to, idealize, depend on and granting power to the therapists.

To be a good counselor in the eye of one’s clients isn’t an easy task. It requires therapeutic technique to discover the issue and guide the patient through questions and sometimes challenges at the same time allows the client to experience empathy, respect and unconditional positive regards, not to say knowledge to psychology and variety of therapies – so many things to balance and think of.

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開學

明天開學,最後我都係無乜放時間去學倉頡…

呢幾個月其實都無做過d乜,亦都提唔起勁做d乜,開頭都有d唔安樂想逼自己做d野,到依家唔再逼自己。得聞既時間,係屋企付近散下步,林下野,好似林通左一d野

Sometimes you Win, Sometimes you Learn (from failures)

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再來一次

其實時間真的過得很快,不知不覺又到三月,一年今就過咗六份一。其實都好似無做過 D 乜今,返工、返學、返屋企,返下教會,食下,訓下,見下D friend 今…

想有多D嘅改變,就係往往提不起勁,時間係不知不覺之間就比佢溜走咗。有時會想,如果可以返番去以前,我會再努力一D!好想好想,但係呢個奇蹟係唔會發生㗎囉!

Live as if you were living for the second time and had acted as wrongly the first time as you are about to act now — Frank Vicktor

就算返到去,其實都未必好好多。現在嘅呢一刻我都拖,返到去過去嘅呢一刻其實都係會拖… 呢一刻,呢一刻就係第二次,只要我願意,呢一刻就係第二次。無悔的第二次!

流星月台

作曲:藍奕邦
作詞:藍奕邦
編曲:Edmond Tsang

思緒就彷似一隻 停了的手錶
想到人倦透之時 才驟覺已被忘掉
下班車可會有贈票 或者等不到已停駛
流星偏偏靠對面空空的月台 沿著軌跡消失了

*俗語說轉眼又一世 踏過的春季和秋季
隨著那歲月流逝 那轉動錢幣
仍會轉了再轉到了最尾終於跌低
如轉眼就一世 就趁青春去看
黃昏中的巴黎 才是最美麗可貴

短髮越剪卻越長 亂放於腮邊
蒼老後白髮凋零 才驟覺很想鬢辮
明天可否會變晴朗 或者猜不透已明天
流星總喜愛趁人疏忽的一剎
橫越那靜默稻田(repeat*)

如果轉眼就一世 讓你青春見証
曾有一番作為 從未叫少年枉費

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旅程 (2)

possibility

唔夠一個月就考試喇,時間真係過得好快。星期六日過得好快。星期二三四都過得好快,嘢好似做黎做去都做唔完,不停今去追 deadline,一個又一個,沒完沒了。當然我亦都明白此乃常態啦…

今日搭車時在 Facebook 看見一篇講港人移居台灣的文章 (link)。看了四份一,原因不外乎機會同自由。而最吸引我的還是「完夢」一詞。就係為咗完夢,就隻身到臺灣重新開始、適應,什至去進修,由唔係太識到識。其實都唔簡單。

令人想放棄的就係果條漫漫長路,一年,兩年,唔知幾多年先有 d 嘢睇下。但係唔行出果一步,唔去堅持,到最後想要嘅野都只不過係白日夢一個。都只可以眼望望,原地踏步。其實,問心果句,有邊個想丫。我都希望可以識多d,大擔d,將來多d 可能…

 

Diagram courtesy to http://mortalmind.com/mortal-mind-les-brown-i-am-going-to-make-it/

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被偷走的那五年 / The Stolen Years (Film)

故事大概是女主角何蔓因交通意外導致失去最近五年的記憶,就是五年前和男主角謝宇渡密月時發生的那個很小的交通意外之後的事也忘了,當然包括她剛和謝宇離婚的事實。她想知道是什麼事到使他們從恩愛夫妻到離婚收場的田地。

就係因為女主角五年內嘅事真係零印象,再加上車禍後性情有一些轉變(例如:以前唔食牛肉但依家食,以前唔鐘意睇無聊片但依家中意,以前比較粗獷依家比較溫柔同多一份量解),她去問以前的朋友和之前見了一段時間的心理治療師得知自己的「好事」。

道歉:當女主角對以前的刻薄和硬要食住前夫主動道歉時,男主角亦對自己妒忌女主角升職比自己快而沒有支持前妻、及花天酒地去引及激嬲前妻道歉,兩人冰釋前嫌。可能我小睇電視電影,我覺得呢個失憶後能後退一步撿視自己/一段關係嘅角度真係可以再 develop 多D,再深入D,可能會有更多共鳴。

至於戲的下半部份,真的有點爛,突然之間女主角又腦退化症,又四肢癱瘓(因為女主角偷偷做了一個只有兩成機會成功的手術去移去血塊),又切腳,又玩自殺,到一個位男主角都想幫女主解脫…… 唉!真係有 d 不赦島 crossover 韓劇生死戀 feel lol。我覺得佢只要再 develop 多d 上半部份,下半部份留返拍二、三、四集(不過我未必會睇)今咪仲好…

p2085858587[1]

(2013/09/29)
兩個人既相處,無論係夫妻、情侶,又或是朋友、死黨,看來坦誠同對對方的欣賞都幾重要,不過當猜疑、比較、妒忌入咗心入面嘅時候,兩個人中間就有一幅牆再看不清對方。隔膜使那些自我應驗預言呀,爭恨,苦毒通通都走出來揍熱鬧,慢慢就把關係謀殺了。說是容易做是難大概是因為當局者自身需要突破那個困局呢。說著便想起愛篇…

愛是恆久忍耐,又有恩慈;愛是不嫉妒,愛是不自誇,不張狂,不做害羞的事,不求自己的益處,不輕易發怒,不計算人的惡,不喜歡不義,只喜歡真理;凡事包容,凡事相信,凡事盼望,凡事忍耐;愛是永不止息。哥林多前書13 4-8

(其實令到此文佔有宗教味道大概唔係我當切嘅構思,但突然耶癮大發,所以… ^^||)

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